TERRI-BULL: MY STORY Chapter One They called me evil. They called me bad. They called me Terrible. They called me the head of the Cosmic Crunchers (Actually, that was true). Call me what you want, but my name is Terri-Bull, and I am here to clear my name. It all started fifteen years ago, five years before the big tournament. The year was 1982. The place was Japan. My rich uncle Horri-Bull had just died and left me with his entire estate FOR PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING PURPOSES he had said. That meant that I was to go into wrestling. Unfortunately, I did not know a thing about wrestling. But I decided to fight, anyway. TO BE CONTINUED......... % TERRI-BULL: MY STORY Chapter Two I decided that the best way to enter into professional wrestling was to fight in the first tournament that I came across. I already had had some background in fighting, and was quite good at it; so it was worth a shot. I entered into the local Kinnikuman tournament, and was immediately set up against the first fighter, a potato with arms and legs. The fight was not for one hour, though, so I bought a hot dog and tried to check out the rest of the competition. There were eight fighters in all, none of them professional. A Hulk Hogan impersonator, a scrawny guy with the word "Texas" written on his shirt. A yellow four armed guy with a small black topknot ponytail (He made it big later on). A wimpy guy with long hair, the potato, myself and one other fighter. It was that other fighter who ruined my life. He stood at an average height, he had a somewhat muscular build, and he had a mask with a japanese character written on it, and a crest on the top of his helmet. He called himself MUSCLE Man. Cocky little freak! I was nice to him, though. I introduced myself to him, and TRIED to shake his hand. But would he even make that small gesture? NO! He looked at me, and laughed! Everyone joined in laughing with him! It embarassed me so much, that when I fought the potato guy, I turned him into french fries! LET THE TOURNAMENT GO ON! TO BE CONTINUED..... TERRI-BULL: MY STORY Chapter three The tournament went on. Both MUSCLE Man and I semmed to tear through our opponents like a hot knife cuts through butter. It was only a matter of time before we fought each other. Then, with that victory, I would have won it all and been the champion forever. But it was not to be. When the fight started, I led with a right hook, knocking my opponent to the floor. He got up before I could pin him. MUSCLE Jerk then charged at me headfirst, hitting me with that crest on his head, and knocking me to the floor. I kicked up quite literally, knocking him back. Then I decided to charge. I ran forward, full steam, and smashed right into him. It could have won the match for me, but MUSCLE Man was too smart. He grabbed my left horn, pulled to the left and twisted. There was a loud cracking noise that filled the stadium. Half of my horn fell to the mat with a thud. I followed it in pain. MUSCLE Man pinned me, and I was down for the count. I didn't care. The tremendous pain from that horn being broken of was too much. I left in shame, taking my broken horn with me. I vowed revenge for that humiliation. Revenge. TO BE CONTINUED....... TERRI - BULL: MY STORY Chapter four I recovered from my crushing defeat soon after. But not totally. I had decided that revenge was the only salve for my new wounds, and that MUSCLE Man would fall! MUSCLE Dweeb had just become famous, and at that time had built up a little team of fighters who liked him, called "Thug Busters". I decided to counter with my own team. After much work on deciding a name, I picked "Terri-Bull's Heroes". But I had no one on my side. Yet. How did I get them, you ask? Ah, that will have to wait until the next chapter in my story. TERRI - BULL: My Story Chapter Five I decided to start my team the easy way: Advertisement. I walked into the Vox news studios, and hijacked it temporarily. In the middle of the news, I brodcasted; "Ladies and gentlemen! I am Terri-Bull! That's my name, not a title. I am here to make an announcement! From now on, I will be MUSCLE Man's no.1 enemy! I will form a rival team, Terri-Bull's Heroes, and I will conquer the Thug Busters! Anyone who wants to join should meet with me tomorrow at The Statue Of Muscularity! See me there at noon!" They came in by the droves. I easily had as many as MUSCLE Man. I invited a guest speaker, Cosmo Cruncher, but he died in a car accident on the way there. So, I did what anyone would do: I renamed my team. We were now the Cosmic Crunchers! We would win! Watch out, MUSCLE Jerk! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! TERRI - BULL: MY STORY Chapter Six With my team formed, my strength renewed, my migrane headaches gone, I *NARF!* Oops! I set out to destroy my hated enemy, MUSCLE Man! This was going to be my finest hour! We issued our challenge, and waited for a confrontation. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. COMING NEXT WEEK, ON "TERRI - BULL: MY STORY: And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited....... TERRI - BULL: MY STORY Chapter Seven And waited. TERRI - BULL: MY STORY Chapter Eight And waited. TERRI - BULL: MY STORY Chapter Nine And waited. TERRI - BULL: MY STORY Chapter Ten And gave up. We gave up waiting. Surely our challenge was not going to be met by the Thug Busters. But at that moment, there was a huge crash! They finally came! We fought. And fought. And fought....You get the idea. We fought to the finish. We fought to the end. We fought like madmen. And ended in a draw. MUSCLE Man and I became well known as rivals from that day forward. TO BE CONTINUED...... TERRI-BULL: MY STORY Chapter Eleven In the time after the big battle, MUSCLE Man and i became extremely popular, doing news interviews (Barbera Walters!), movie camios (It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Toilet Bowl), commercials (Carpathius Kline, Meaties brand cerial), and so on. We even fought from time to time, when the Paparazzi wasn't around. Eventually, one day, all of the Cosmic Crunchers and Thug Busters decided to end this charade very quickly: with a tournament! A tournament of champions! And not just an ordinary tournament! It would be more like a brawl, with people flying everywhere! We met in the Shoe Stadium, and prepared for battle TERRI-BULL: MY STORY Chapter Twelve: The Final Chapter We met at precisely noon, July 20, 1987, and then the battle began. Hordes of fighters crouded the ring! The cowboy and death fought in one corner! The guy with the pipe head was knocked out! The fish crawled into the ring! The computer was worried! MUSCLE Man and I, Terri-Bull, faced each other in immortal combat (I wish). MUSCLE Man knocked Goro aside, as the general looked on. I pounced. And missed. So did MUSCLE Dweeb. It went on and on, blow after blow, until we were all to dizzy to see straight. In desperation I grabbed MUSCLE Man's mask, and pulled it off. Everyone fell silent. Especially me. MUSCLE Man was really my uncle, Horri-Bull, who was not dead! He looked at me, and called in two men in white coats with butterfly nets who explained it all. "Mr. Terri-Bull," one started, "This was all a psychological experiment from your kindly friends at Unicron Corp. We collaborated with your uncle, to see how you would respond to this sort of situation. All of the fighters you see here are fake." "Hi!" the fish shouted. "It's time to go home now, Terri-Bull. Come with me." The doctor grabbed my arm and was prepared to take me away. He did not know about my five years of training. I knocked out both doctors, and fought my way through every one else. They followed me in a high-speed car chase, which ended in an accident. I barely managed to crawl away. I was presumed dead, and my supposed death was blamed on the Paparazzi. Since then, I have tried many jobs, but now I've found one that fits me just fine. I'm no longer TerriBull: The Magnificient. I am: TERRI-BULL: PRIVATE EYE THE END